


Unintentional Attraction

by cleverly



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s03e12 Untouchable, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, episode fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 20:57:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleverly/pseuds/cleverly
Summary: And lately, he had been thinking a lot. And feeling a lot. About a particular person. Barry. And more specifically, thinking about his feelings for Barry.Which he seemed to have.Yeah.





	Unintentional Attraction

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so basically, this fic has been sitting on my computer since season 3. So, anything that's happened after 3x12 in canon, doesn't apply here _ at all._

Although he didn’t like to admit it, Julian had a tendency to fixate on things. Like an annoying little itch that he shouldn’t scratch, because he knows it would just further irritate it, and make the problem grow. But he just scratched and scratched. It wasn’t something he was proud of, something he tried to deny; he thought that people who refused to let go of things that cannot be solved, refused to move on from what they cannot have, were weak. Which is why he did not allow anyone to know about his problem. It was something that he was working on and it didn’t seem necessary to involve anyone.

He was currently fixated on the words that Joe West had said several days ago. Since he had begun working at Star Labs, with “Team Flash”, his life had changed a lot. Since he’d moved to America, he hadn’t become close to anyone. His work was enough, at least so he told himself, and he didn’t need relationships, platonic or otherwise. But, since becoming a part of Team Flash, he felt like he was a part of something. The empty space inside of his chest began to fill itself with a warm feeling. He liked this feeling and, while working with the team was definitely frustrating at times, he didn’t want that feeling to go away.

So, Joe’s words stuck with him. _“We must always be honest with each other.”_

Now, Julian knew that wasn’t technically address to him. Julian understood that Joe meant his family keeping Iris’ potential death from him wasn't okay and that in the future, anything that happens should and would be shared right away. Julian got that. But he couldn’t help but replay the words over and over again in his brain. Itch and itch.

He owed these people so much, after everything with Savitar, and he knew that it was better to come clean with anything he was thinking or feeling. And lately, he had been thinking a lot. And feeling a lot. About a particular person. Barry. And more specifically, thinking about his feelings for Barry. 

Which he seemed to have.

_Yeah. _

It wasn’t intentional, honestly; he hadn’t meant to develop feelings for Barry. At first, he couldn’t stand him. In the beginning, Barry was nothing more than an annoyance to Julian. A whirlwind of chaos and excuses. But, at some point, something changed between them. Barry began making an effort to be around more often, having the curtesy to look guilty whenever he arrived late for work or disappeared for extended periods of time, leaving Julian to do all the work.

He invited Julian out for a drink. 

He listened to Julian talk about his problems.

He was there for Julian in a way that no one else had been for a long time. 

But then he discovered Barry was The Flash and everything began to make sense. He wished he could say he saw it coming, but that would be a lie. He learned about “Flash Point” and Barry confessed that his change in behavior towards Julian a few months back was due to the fact that he didn’t remember Julian. Because in Barry’s previous timeline, Julian didn’t exist. At least, not in Barry’s life.

That bit did upset Julian, but he didn’t allow himself to focus on it much. He was here now and that’s all that mattered to him. 

Joe’s words played on a constant loop in Julian’s head. He knew he was going to have to come clean about his feelings for Barry, no matter what the consequences. The last thing Julian wanted was his stupid feelings to become an issue between him and the rest of the team, especially Barry. He had just become a part of something, he wasn’t about to lose it simply because he fancied Allen.

His feelings would go away but being honest was something he had to do. He had already accepted the fact that Barry wouldn’t return his feelings. He didn’t even know if Barry was interested in men, but on top of that, he knew Barry loved Iris. Apparently, he had loved Iris for a very long time and Julian respected that. He respected Iris. But he needed to come clean; if only to allow himself to move on. Because Julian wasn’t someone who fell easily. When he fell, he fell hard, and much like he was fixating on Joe’s words, he knew he would focus all his attention on his feelings. And that wasn’t something he could let happen, not right now. Not with the possibility of Savitar returning.

Walking through the door of his lab, he glances at Barry’s desk and sighs in relief when it’s empty. He knew he needed to tell Barry the truth, but that didn’t mean that the thought of doing so didn’t terrify him. Confessing could cost him what little progress him and Barry have made towards a friendship, but he knew keeping it to himself could have even more repercussions in the long run. 

He walks over to his desk, placing his bag on top, before taking a deep breath to steady himself. Deciding that caffeine would definitely help with his nerves, he walks over to where the tea kettle is, turning it on. The moment the kettle begins to boil, Barry walks through the door, his token smile on his face and two coffees in hand.

“Morning, Julian!” Barry chirps, walking over to the blonde. “Looks like I got here right on time. I brought you a coffee from Jitters.”

Julian stares at Barry, his eyes flittering between the coffee in his hand and his face, his heart skipping at the earnest smile on the Barry’s face. Barry wasn’t making it easy for him, Julian thought with a grimace. Nodding in thanks, Julian takes the coffee Barry offers him, making sure that their hands didn’t touch while doing so, he definitely couldn’t handle any accidental touches right now, and quickly makes his way back to his desk. 

He sits and quickly opens an on-going case file, making himself look busy. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Barry make his way over to his own desk and sit down; he could feel Barry’s eyes on him, but he keeps his own eyes firmly on the file in front of him. The two work in silence for most of the morning. Once Julian’s able to settle his nerves, he’s able to actually focus on his work. 

It was exactly this form of distraction he was trying to avoid. He knew he needed to tell Barry the truth, and soon. 

About ten minutes before he is schedule for his lunch break, Barry clears his throat. 

“Um, Julian? Is there something wrong? I mean, it’s great that we’re getting all this work done, but you’ve never been this quiet.”

Julian feels himself flush, embarrassed that his uneasiness was so obvious. 

“No, Allen. I’m fine,” he assures Barry, “I’ve just got a lot on my mind,”

Barry nods in understanding. “Want to talk about it?” He asks. “It’s about time for lunch anyway, we can talk about it while we eat?”

Julian nods, not trusting his voice. 

The two leave the office, silently agreeing that they’ll be eating out for lunch. They make their way to a Thai restaurant that was located down the street from the station; after ordering and paying for their food, they make their way to an empty table. 

Julian just takes a bite out of his food before Barry speaks.

“So, Albert, what’s on your mind?”

“You.” He blurts out. His eyes widen as he curses his lack of brain to mouth filter. Well, _shit._

“Um, what?”

Julian coughs, covering his mouth and turning away to hide the growing blush on his face. “Uh yeah,” he mutters. “Sorry, didn’t mean to say that.”

“So, I’m not the thing that’s bothering you?” Barry asks in confusion. 

Turning to face Barry again, Julian notes the puzzled and concerned look in his eyes. Barry was worried about him. Ignoring the fluttering feeling in his stomach at that fact, he opens his mouth to speak. “No, you are. Not you _exactly_, but something concerning you.”

“Care to elaborate on that, Jules?”

Julian ignores the way that his ears flame at the nickname and continues.

“Well, more specifically Allen,” he says, moving the noodles around on his plate carelessly, “my feelings regarding you.”

Barry clears his throat and gives an awkward chuckle. “Oh, you mean your great dislike of me?”

Julian looks back at Barry, giving him a thin smile and winces. “Not quite.”

The brunette sits up straighter, placing his chop sticks back on his plate, and waits for Julian to continue.

It’s now or never.

“Lately, ever since that night we got drinks, and even more recently with everything that happened with Savitar,” Julian begins, stumbling over his words. This is more difficult than he thought it would be. “I’ve began to fancy you. A little.”

Barry blinks at Julian, looking a little lost. “Fancy…? Doesn’t that mean—?”

“Yes Allen, I have feelings for you. Not platonic. Romantic feelings.”

Around them, the restaurant noise continues as the customers enjoy their food, but Julian can’t hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears. Unable to bear looking at Barry’s stunned expression, Julian directs his attention back to his food, messing his already mangled noodles around his plate further. He sticks his chopstick into a carrot viciously, cutting it in half, before moving onto another. 

Silence sits heavily between the two for several minutes, until Barry clears his throat. “I—Uh—I don’t. Wow. I don’t know what to say, Julian.”

“That’s a first,” Julian utters, attempting a joke, but the strain in his voice causes it to fall flat. If the look on Barry’s face was any indication, he could hear the tension in Julian’s tone as well. 

Julian puts down his chop sticks and places his hands in his lap, out of Barry’s sight. He clutches at his knees, forcing himself to get the next words out. There’s no turning back at this point, Julian thinks.

“I’m sorry if what I’ve said makes you feel uncomfortable, Barry.” He admits. 

“Julian, that’s not—” 

Julian holds up a hand, stopping Barry. “Please, let me get through this.”

Barry nods his head in agreement, frowning as his eyebrows furrow. Not allowing himself to think about what Barry’s expression could have possibly meant, Julian continues. “I’m sorry if you feel uncomfortable,” he repeats. “But after what Joe said earlier this week about honesty, I felt that I couldn’t keep my feelings a secret anymore.

“I promise that absolutely nothing has to change, I just wanted you to know the truth.” He pauses, choosing his next words carefully. “Your friendship—and the friendship of everyone at Star Labs—means a lot to me. And I don’t want anything to jeopardize that. You’re the first people I’ve truly connected with since coming to the States. You are the first person I’ve really connected with.”

The sad smile that forms on Barry’s face makes Julian’s heart ache. This isn’t what Julian wants. Julian did not want Barry’s pity, which based on the expression on the other man’s face at the moment, is exactly what Barry was feeling for him. Julian pulls on the collar of his shirt, the air suddenly feeling too thick and hot. The room feeling suddenly too crowded. 

God, this was such a mistake.

Before Barry could respond, Julian is up and out of his seat. Barry watches Julian, his expression morphing into one of surprise at the other man’s sudden movement. “I need to go, Allen.”

“Julian, wait—”

“No, I can’t.” 

With that, Julian rushes out of the restaurant, leaving his messy lunch and his even messier heart behind.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if I'll continue this fic, but I really love what I have so far, so I decided to post and share. I have a couple of ideas of where I can go with this, so I can definitely see it continuing. Let me know what you think in the comments! :)


End file.
